you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
