we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
