how can u be prego again
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
