fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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