I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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