but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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