I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
