Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she pinky promised me she was 18
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
