i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
