Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
