i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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