I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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