i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So vagazzling was a success
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
