Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
