The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
