I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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