Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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