would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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