they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
