Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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