I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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