it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
