omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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