At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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