You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
