I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
