she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
