Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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