I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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