You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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