take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
