yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
