she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
