we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
