And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
