Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.

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(248): View more from Michigan

They have a pepper shaker for pot.

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(904): View more from Florida

I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.

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(208): View more from Idaho

What's a "vodkaffle"?

(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.

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(941): View more from Florida

well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.

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(562): View more from California

I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(

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(250): View more from British Columbia

your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party

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(770): View more from Georgia

Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star

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