It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
