we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
