Your tits are I can't wait for
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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