Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night

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(770): View more from Georgia

He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...

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(847): View more from Illinois

Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?

(1-847): View more from Illinois

It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.

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(613): View more from Ontario

If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd

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(650): View more from California

an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

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(561): View more from Florida

Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.

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(805): View more from California

Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.

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