lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
