ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
