I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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