I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
