I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
