sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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