i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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