Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
