That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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