So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
